Loki Causes Trouble and Fury Dances Ballet
by Selene Illusinia
Summary: [More Than She Seems] Fury really shouldn't yell at Loki... Takes place sometime during 'Mischief Loves a Challenge'.
1. Loki

**Loki and Thor are in so much trouble. Too bad Loki makes it worse. This idea revolved around a request from _Starlight_ that Loki actually put Fury in a tutu. A looping video prank of that may or may not show up in a later story. Anyway, this does take place sometime during Mischief Loves a Challenge, but because it doesn't deal with the core concept of the story, I opted to make it a side shot. Enjoy!**

**Once again people, I don't own these guys!**

**- Illusinia**

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This was bad. Very, very bad.

Fury was on the warpath, and that doesn't mean yelling at people that they're stupid. That isn't so bad. No, Fury was pissed in the 'quiet-simmering-that-only-gets-worse-as-more-time-passes' way. Not that Darcy could really blame him, but really. He acted like the giant hole in the side of the Avengers Headquarters was permanent. Admittedly, the way it got there was pretty bad but no-one had seen anything wrong with a little friendly sparring between brothers. Too bad Thor hadn't mentioned the number of times he and Loki had destroyed the castle training area _before_ they started the duel.

Really though, Fury didn't need to glare at them like they were the most immature individuals on the planet. Hell, even Tony wasn't that pissed and it was _his_ building. He'd simply shrugged, pointed out he'd done worse, and started calling contractors. Of course, the easiest way to handle this would be for Loki to simply magic the whole wall back together, which Darcy knew he was capable of. She'd seen him do it to a whole bunch of dishes once after they'd fallen due to a puddle of water (which Loki swears he has no knowledge of).

Speaking of the God of Mischief, he wasn't looking particularly happy with what Fury was saying. In fact, he looked more than a little pissed. Not that Darcy could blame him. Tony _had_ said the whole thing was ok, and he was the one who owned the building. Thor, who was standing beside Loki, was looking equally confused and a bit annoyed. Nothing to really worry about, or so Darcy thought.

As subtly as possible (which given it was _Thor_ was surprisingly subtle), he leaned over towards Loki, muttering something to his brother. Loki smirked slightly in response, then caught Darcy's eye and motioned her over to where he and Thor were standing. Personally, she was standing on the edge of the group, so working her way around wasn't hard.

"What's up?" whispered Darcy as she leaned forwards a little towards Loki.

Loki reached back and took her hand. "You want to see what I can do unrestricted, correct?"

His words were in Norse, so it took Darcy a moment to puzzle out what he'd said. Well, if he wanted to speak in Norse, that could only mean he was planning some mischief. Which meant she clearly needed to follow his lead and use the same language. To not get caught of course, not because she _really _liked how it sounded when he spoke Norse. Who knew anyone could make a dead language sound so hot? "Yeah, totally."

"Watch," he muttered, still in Norse, then twitched the hand behind his back.

The whole room fell silent in the way rooms do when everyone inside is trying not to laugh so hard they can't breath. Darcy barely contained her own laughter and badly wanted to ask Loki why he'd chosen that particular trick. Thor wasn't doing as good of a job, and actually started to snicker at the scene before them.

Fury had stopped dead in his tracks, horror painted across his features. Pure, abject horror. His face was priceless, and would have been worth so much, if the image before them weren't so scaring.

He was in a tutu. A bright pink, frilly, psudo-skirt of tulle that sticks straight out, tutu. Complete with leotard, stalkings, and pink ballet shoes. If it weren't for the fact that the ensemble was on _Fury_, it would look like it belonged to a normal ballerina. A normal twelve-year-old ballerina.

Suffice to say, Fury's face turned a shade of red Darcy was pretty certain didn't exist in nature and which probably would signal to most that he was _I don't care who the fuck you are, you're dead_ pissed. But Loki was apparently oblivious to that fact. Or he didn't care. Either was really possible and Darcy would put money on the second. It was obvious he didn't care too, because he went and opened his mouth.

"Are you done then Nick?" asked Loki mildly. "Because I do believe that Tony has graciously forgiven Thor and I for getting carried away and, really, if you asked nicely I would be more than inclined to fix the wall without hesitation. After all, Thor and I are the ones who were responsible for its destruction and it really is not fair if Tony or another mortal is forced to clean up our mistake. Correct Thor?"

"Agreed," snickered Thor. "This was an accident, and those do happen when one has a training facility within their building."

"Or a workshop!" added Tony as he covered the receiver of his phone. Pepper was out of the country but Tony had blown out walls before and, to avoid Pepper's wrath, had taken to keeping a contractor on speed-dial.

Fury was shaking with rage, but both Loki and Thor were ignoring that in favor of examining the broken wall. "A simple spell should repair the damage."

Thor nodded his agreement, though Darcy guessed he didn't know what he was talking about. "It should be quick."

Tony blinked at them and told the person on the phone he'd call them back. "Seriously Loki, you can fix this?"

"Of course," replied Loki with a smirk. "I am a skilled sorcerer. It will take little effort to fix this."

Tony grinned. "Great! Lets do it!"

Loki nodded. "Of course, so long as I am asked politely to fix the damage."

"By Fury of course," added Thor with a smile. Wow, Darcy had _never_ pegged Thor as even _slightly_ mischievous. She had to give him major props. Most guys would be wetting their pants by now.

"I am NOT going to ask either of you to fix anything," growled Fury. "I'm ORDERING you two to fix this mess."

Loki tutted slightly. "That is no way to ask for assistance."

Fury's eyebrow began to twitch. Darcy was starting to suspect someone like Loki is the reason Fury lost his eye. The other looked ready to pop out at any moment.

"That's because there is no asking involved," growled Fury. "Fix it or else I'll have you BOTH fixed!"

Confusion fell over Thor's face. "What does he mean by that? We aren't broken."

Darcy snickered while Loki looked very uncomfortable. "Fixed means neutered. Unable to reproduce. Having your balls removed."

Thor still looked confused. "What does that have to do with-"

"It means I'll remove YOUR balls," snapped Fury. "Now FIX THE DAMN WALL AND DON"T DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN!"

With that, Fury turned and strode away with all the dignity a man in a 12-year-old's tutu could. Which was apparently a lot. The man may as well have been wearing a crown and royal robes.

"No sense of humor," muttered Tony.

"No sense of etiquette," replied Loki with a shake of his head.

Darcy snorted. "Not sure there's a lot of etiquette involved once you magick someone into a tutu."

Loki just shrugged. "It was Thor's idea, oddly enough. Good job by the way brother. We will turn you into a trickster yet."

Thor grinned widely at Loki. "No brother, I will leave the tricks to you. Besides, I can't be a complete incompetent when it comes to pranks. After all, I grew up with you."

Loki pretended to be extremely flattered. "Aw, there, there brother. Give us a kiss."

Thor just shoved Loki slightly, making them both laugh as Loki fell into Darcy who was pouting. "Aw, so we _don't_ get to see an adorable incest moment?"

Both brothers looked a little sick until she burst out laughing. "I'm kidding guys. Though I'm not sure it counts as incest if you aren't related by blood."

"It counts," stated Tony, Jane, Loki., and Thor simultaneously. And loudly.

Darcy just laughed harder. "Alright, fine. Loki can you just fix the wall so we can get out of here? I'm getting hungry."

"Of course," assured Loki with an exaggerated bow. "Anything for you fair maiden."

"Fair maiden?" Darcy snorted slightly. "I'm about as much of a maiden as you are a princess."

Loki's smile was pure mischief. "Well, I am a changeling. I could become a girl."

"Please don't," moaned Darcy. "I do _not_ want to be beating guys off you with a stick."

Steve rolled his eyes from where he'd been silently observing the exchange. "I don't think you'd have to worry about that Darcy. He'd probably make an ugly girl."

The slow but threatening smile that spread over Loki's lips was a little chilling. "Maybe, but you would make a rather lovely one."

Before anyone could do anything, Loki muttered something and pink smoke enveloped Steve. When the smoke cleared, Steve was standing there in a green sundress and green flip-flops with a giant sunhat on his head and long hair that was braided down his back. His body was still very clearly male.

"Gah!" shouted Tony, who slapped a hand over his head. "I think I just went blind."

Darcy bit her lip in an attempt to keep from snickering. "Loki, that's mean!" 

Thor, on the other hand, was casually examining Steve with a critical eye. "He does make a rather lovely girl. Or at least would if he had less muscle and more curves. I can see where you got your conclusions from brother."

Loki snickered himself. "He makes a better girl than you."

"I thought we weren't going to discuss that any more," grumbled Thor.

"I never said that," pointed out Loki. "In fact, I never agreed either. You shouted that at me rather loudly and stormed away."

Steve had turned red as a tomato by now and was practically blowing steam out of his ears. "Change. My. Clothes. Back."

"No," stated Loki with a smirk. "There's no fun in that."

"Loki..." warned Steve, but he was stopped by a glare from Darcy.

"Lighten up Steve, its only clothing," growled Darcy. "Certainly nothing to threaten Loki over."

Steve's mouth moved up and down a few times before he sighed and stormed away. Darcy huffed slightly at his antics but started after him none the less. "I'm gonna help him get out of that dress. Please fix the wall Loki."

"Of course," murmured Loki as he watched Darcy go after Steve, deflated.

Thor's large hand landed lightly on his brother's shoulder. "Come brother, let's repair the wall and obtain sustenance. We can go to that place that sells the cake of pans."

"Pancakes Thor," corrected Loki as he flicked his wrist listlessly and watched the wall repair itself.

"Whatever the name," shrugged Thor. "Tony, will you join us in the consumption of the pancake?"

Tony shrugged. "Sure, why not. Just let me run inside and check on something before we go." He left the brothers quickly, heading inside to the security room. It took less than a minute for him to locate the security camera he wanted and transfer the image to the large screen. What he saw made him smile.

The room Darcy and Steve were currently in was wired for sound, and he was getting quite a show. Steve was standing there in woman's undergarments being chastised by Darcy for something the man had said against Loki. And she was really started to tear into him a little. _Never disrespect the best friend dude. Especially if you hope to win._

Whistling happily, Tony shot Darcy a message to let her know where they were going and to join them if they wanted to before walking back outside. Loki still looked downcast and Thor was trying to cheer him up. Briefly, Tony wondered if Thor was actually _aware_ of the competition Loki and Steve were engaged in. _Probably not. Thor isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box. He only knows about his brother's attraction because of the whole 'I'll destroy the city thing'. I'll have to find a way to slip this little tidbit of information I picked up to Loki. Let him know he's still in the lead. And if THAT doesn't work, I've got the whole 'Fury in a tutu' thing on video. Broadcasting that on every monitor in HQ should make Loki smile. Darcy should know how to do that._

"Alright guys, lets jet!" called Tony with a grin, glad he had a plan in place. "IHOP awaits!"

**Because that's totally what you're supposed to do when two gods put a hole in the wall of your building while play fighting. Go for pancakes. Anyone want to see the actual fight posted?**


	2. Prologue: Thor Vs Loki

**Finally, the explanation for how the hole got there is up. If you want to read this in context with everything else, there's a full posting of 'Mischief Loves A Challenge' on my archiveofourown account (under the name Illusinia) that puts the whole story together into one long piece.**

**Enjoy everyone,  
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**Illusinia  
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><p>Loki barely kept himself from growling as he looked over the sight before him. Barely.<p>

He was standing in the doorway to the Avenger's training facility where he was _supposed_ to be meeting Darcy to show her how to throw knives. 'Supposed' being the key word.

He'd been excited to take on this task, elated even. It would give him the chance to get closer to Darcy both physically and potentially emotionally. Tony had insisted on forcing Loki to watch a series of romantically inclined movies and a few non-romantically inclined ones with strong romantic ties between the main characters. Most of the things which the men in those movies had done either made Loki want to gag or would get him slapped. Hard.

Darcy was a hard woman to court, but he'd known that would be the case going in. The trick now was to keep her attention on him, hopefully so he could prove his intentions were true. Teaching her a method of self defense that didn't involve her tazer seemed like a good reason. However, watching _his_ Darcy (because she would always be his) standing with Steve Rogers behind her, walking her through the motions of throwing a disk shaped a lot like the man's shield, was bringing his temper to the forefront. Really, how unimaginative can the man be?

"You look displeased brother."

Loki nearly jumped as a huge hand dropped on his shoulder. For someone the size of a semi-truck, Thor could be frighteningly quiet when he wanted to be. "I do not know what you mean, Thor."

"Come now brother," argued Thor, albeit quietly. "I have much experience identifying your displeased face from the scant others you display."

One of Loki's eyebrows rose as he glanced back at Thor. "Are you suggesting I lack emotion?"

"Hardly," scoffed Thor as he moved to sit on one of the many chairs scattered through the room. "I'm aware of how deep your feelings run. Especially for Lady Darcy."

The scowl which had previously been affixed to Loki's lips returned. "Please get on with whatever your point is, Thor."

"You are unhappy she is showing another man attention," stated Thor seriously.

Loki scoffed. "She cares no more for Captain Rogers than she does for any other man who works at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Indeed," agreed Thor. "But he is still an impressive man. A warrior."

"I am a warrior as well brother, or need I remind you of the various battles we have fought together," reminded Loki, his scowl deepening.

Thor nodded in understanding. "I am aware of your skills in battle brother. Though unconventional by our culture, your battle skills are impressive. Which is why I propose we show Lady Darcy exactly what you are capable of in battle."

Both of Loki's eyebrows rose as he turned his full attention to his brother. "You wish to spar?"

"Yes," confirmed Thor. "It will capture the attention of Lady Darcy. Your unique style of battle will likely appeal to her."

For a moment, Loki considered his brother's words. It _would_ catch the attention of the others if they were to spar together. And sparing with Thor could be fun, under the right circumstances. "Will I be permitted to win?"

"Of course," assured Thor. "I would never suggest you flaunt your skills as a warrior if I did not intend to give you the upper hand. I can usually best you only because my strength is greater than yours. Your agility and trickery give you an advantage."

Loki hummed for a moment before nodding. "Alright. We will do this your way, brother."

"Wonderful," insisted Thor, his voice rising in volume so suddenly, Loki thought his ear drums might explode. "To arms then, brother! We shall spar as we once did!"

Both Darcy and Steve stopped what they were doing at Thor's words. Darcy quickly shoved the disk she was holding back at Steve as she broke away and hurried over to where Loki and Thor were standing.

"You two are going to spar?" she asked in disbelief, giving Loki a wide-eyed look that reflected some fear. "Dude, are you sure about this?"

Loki offered her a smile, one of his hands coming to rest on Darcy's upper arm. It was minor contact, but enough to give him peace. "Yes. We have sparred many times before. Do not worry, Darcy."

"Um, that's a little hard to do given Thor is kinda bigger than you," stated Darcy uneasily, her eyes growing a little more worried.

"Size does not always ensure victory," pointed out Loki, his smile softening into one of reassurance. "I will be fine, Darcy. Do not look so worried."

"I can't help it," muttered Darcy before she wrapped her arms around Loki's neck and leaned her forehead against his. She had done that before when he said something that worried her. It was her way of offering comfort and reassurance, as well as ensuring what she said would not be over-heard. As he predicted, her voice dropped in volume to just above a soft whisper. "Loki, seriously, why are you doing this?"

Loki brushed his nose against hers in reassurance, wrapping his arms around her waist as he had done so many times before when they were in this position. His voice was equally soft when he spoke. "It is little more than a friendly competition, Darcy. Thor and I did this often as children to bond, and we believe it will help to strengthen our brotherly bond again."

"Dude, if you want to bond, watch a movie," muttered Darcy as she pulled back a little. "It seems like there's a better way to do this than beating the crap out of each other."

"We will not cause one another harm," assured Loki gently. "It's all in fun, Darcy. I swear."

She sighed unhappily but disentangled herself from him none the less. "Alright, fine. But if you get your ass kicked, I will have no sympathy for you."

"Noted," replied Loki with a smile.

Thor clapped one large hand on his brother's shoulder, making the smaller man wince a little. "Do not fret, Lady Darcy. I will return my brother to you unharmed."

"You'd better dude," growled Darcy. "Otherwise, we'll find out if my tazer works on gods or not."

Half an hour later, the rest of the Avengers were gathered around the gym, hanging out up on the upper platforms which ran around three walls of the gym for observation. Darcy was leaning on the railing staring at Loki nervously. Steve stood beside her, attempting to offer her comfort which she ignored or disregarded. Tony was standing on her other side, making comments about bets which Darcy kept glaring at him over. Clint was standing beside Stark and may or may not have slipped him some money, much to the disapproving glare of Natasha, who was standing beside him.

Loki took everyone in with an uneasy glance. He'd known that Thor's teammates were likely to observe their little fight, but he had failed to calculate how intimidating that might be. Seeing the curious and slightly hostile looks, he began to wonder if this was a good idea.

"Nervous brother?" asked Thor quietly, his voice little more than a deep rumble.

"A little," admitted Loki. "I failed to account for how intimidating your teammates all being present could be. I recall similar incidents in Asgard ending poorly in my favor."

Thor smiled a little and hoisted Mjolnir against his shoulder. "Do not fear brother, I have not forgotten why it is we spar this day. This match will end favorably for you, no matter what the actual outcome. I am certain Lady Darcy will dote upon you, regardless of how you actually fair."

"That is not reassuring brother," grumbled Loki before he moved away from his brother and took up a position on the other side of the gym from Thor.

Thor grinned and called out loudly across the gym. "Ready yourself brother."

"I am ready brother," replied Loki as he turned to face Thor, his armor sliding across his body from the ether, save his helmet. He rather liked the horns, but Thor had insisted the golden headgear was too much.

"Then let us fight!" exclaimed Thor, just before he came charging directly at Loki. And promptly fell through his brother upon reaching him.

The illusion smirked slightly before looking up to wink at Darcy and vanished. Which allowed Loki enough of a distraction to throw a knife at Thor from behind. If it hadn't been for his brother's armor, the dagger would have landed firmly in his skin. As it was, a mark of red appeared across Thor's back where the dagger would have struck, the metal melting into something more akin to red paint than metal.

Thor laughed slightly, turning towards his brother with glee. "An old trick brother."

"But effective," pointed out Loki. Glancing up, he noticed Darcy was grinning slightly. Clearly she approved. Thor allowed Loki the moment before charging at his brother again, attempting to engage him in full-frontal combat.

The next few minutes consisted of agile dodging on Loki's part, never allowing his brother to land a hit. It was obvious to Loki that Thor was holding back of course; he'd sparred with his brother enough to know the man should have landed at least one strike by now. Still, his teammates did not appear fazed by Thor's lack of a strike. If anything, Tony was looking all too pleased about it.

Taking a risk, Loki danced away from Thor and allowed his staff to materialize in his hands. Thor took the move for what it was and charged a Loki again, raising Mjolnir for a over-head strike and bringing the hammer down with tempered strength on Loki's staff.

Behind them, Loki could hear Darcy's sharp exclamation. Thor grinned at the sound, lowering his voice so only Loki could hear while attempting to make it look like they were engaged in a momentary stalemate. "She is concerned for you brother."

"Clearly," replied Loki, voice pitched as low as his brother's. "Did you inform Stark about the reason we are sparring?"

"He may have inquired," confirmed Thor with a grin. "He supports your endeavors, brother. It is good to have the acting father of the woman whom you are courting on your side."

"So I have been told," muttered Loki. "Shall we end this, brother?"

"Indeed," agreed Thor. "Though I insist we spar for real at a later time. I wish to see what you are capable of here, brother. Away from the judgmental eyes of Asgard."

"Agreed," replied Loki before he pushed back slightly against his brother's hammer in warning and teleported a few feet away.

Thor stumbled, pitching forward into a roll which he used to bring himself back to his feet. Spinning, he turned to face Loki where the man stood in front of the one flat wall of the room. Grinning, Thor spun Mjolnir in his hand once. Twice. And charged forward.

Loki braced himself for a moment as if he would stand his ground. Everyone expected the impact. Darcy even shouted for him to get out of the way from across the room. Still, Loki did not budge. Did not blink, flinch or move. Even when Thor struck his brother and promptly ran through his brother. And out the back wall of the gym.


End file.
